Now we want to hear from you!
If you’re a servicemember who has returned to your community after combat duty, what gestures of support were most helpful to you or your family? If you’re a family member, friend, coworker or neighbor, what are your best ideas for helping servicemembers’ re-entry to their home communities be as smooth as possible?
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Your ideas
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Archive for the ‘Your ideas’ Category
MAJRussell1
June 28th, 2010
Returning soldiers and their families need advocates to asist them through the complicated process of getting health care and benenfits. For many this is too hard so they simply give up and lose out. The government makes things to ahrd for these young folks. The answer cannot be no it has to be we can help.
Transferring from the Armed Forces to the Civilian Workplace?
May 11th, 2010
Consider checking out a free webinar my colleagues, John and Melody, are leading on Wed., May 12th. You will need a computer and a telephone.
Copy and paste:
https://capella.webex.com/mw0306l/mywebex/default.do?siteurl=capella&service=6 into your browser to register.
Retired Army
January 5th, 2010
I served in both Desert Shield/Storm and OIF-1 - and had vastly different experiences upon my return. When we left DS/S, we were afforded leave after return without the benefit of counseling or anything other than a safety brief and words of advice before departing on block leave. It was a difficult transition to go from a high stress, fast paced combat environment and to be immediately thrust back into the family/civilian environment. I had difficulty adjusting and understanding that my home life had changed, and how to deal with the changes. More importantly, my spouse at the time had no clue how to assist em in my readjustment process and assumed that now that I was home, everything would be back to how it was when I left. It was a very difficult transition that ultimately ended that marriage.
My return from OIF was a vastly different experience. After 15 months in combat, we were returned to our units and attended mandatory “decompression” training. This training was a week long series of classes that we attended with our spouses/significant others and was designed to walk both the Soldier and family member through the changes that had occured in both during the time away. It helped the spouses understand some of the changes that may have occured in their Soldier and techniques to avoid conflict as the Soldier re-integrated into family and garrison life. It helped the Soldier understand some of what they had been through and gave a chance for us to “wind down” and re-introduce us to our family lives post-combat. I still use many of the techniques today to mitigate conflicts in my life when they appear. I can’t say enough about the value of forcing a service-member to de-compress after serving in combat in order to smoothly bring them down from a constant state of hyper-vigilance and let them tune into the slower paced life at home. We were allowed to take leave only after completing the decompression training.
Some of the do’s and don’ts I would add are:
Do recognize and understand that the Soldier has had experiences you can’t even hope to understand unless you have experienced them - don’t pry for details to make sense of them.
Don’t push for details about things you may have heard - it may bring up bad memories for the Soldier, they may not be able to adequately explain and become frustrated because you just don’t get it, or you may get more details than you wanted and regret asking the question.
Do give the service member time to decompress and tell you about their experiences in their own time - they have to bring mental closure to some things before they are willing to share with you.
Do understand that servicemembers are more likely to share their experiences with another servicemember - sometimes, without the benefit of shared experiences, you just don’t know enough to be able to contribute to the conversation.
Don’t ask stupid questions. Civilians sometimes don’t know the right questions to ask - I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked if I killed anyone or saw any “gory stuff” when I was in combat - the questions are inappropriate and can be damaging. More often than not, you will get a ‘brush-off’ answer that pretty much ends the conversation awkwardly.
Do ask general questions about the experiences and let the Soldier divulge what he or she wants - don’t push.
Do be prepared for a morbid sense of humor - Soldiers see things with a different eye than those who haven’t been there and sometimes something that is morbid to you is hilarious to them - it’s a matter of perspective.
Lastly - understand that they may come home with some quirks or odd habits that are part of their survival mode - five years later I am still hyper-vigilant when driving and always looking for IED’s on the road, and adjust my driving to suit the situation when I see a box or dead animal carcass on the roadside.
I couldn’t ask for a better re-adjustment partner than my wife - she was patient and understanding and let me re-integrate to our family life in my own time. She recognized a lot of changes in me after our 15 month separation and allowed me the space I needed to readjust. She was always there when I needed to talk, and more importantly, she let me (and still does) have my space when I need it - no explanation required. All I need is to tell her I need some time to think or to be alone for a while and she gives me the freedom to do so.
Military/Educational Co-ops.
January 5th, 2010
My only idea would include groups at all colleges, technical schools and universities. The groups could include idea sharing, navigating the educational system, filtration of available services to all veterans within the higher educational system at one time. Many of the groups would really need to encompass the returning female soldier as many tend to feel left out and or feel that many of ther services are geared toward the males only.
How Can I Help.
January 5th, 2010
I’m currently completing the very last PhD course in the psychology program at Capella University. I am a professor of general psychology and human developmental psychology at Polk State College in Central Florida. I’m a Gulf War Era Veteran.
Several of my students are veterans, female and having issues navigating not only the higher educational system but the Veteran Health Services system as well. Veterans come to me regarding many of the issues that they face and I would like to be able to help more.
How else can I help? What else can I do to be of more help to the returning soldier? Any assistance and or ideas would be appreciated.
Best Regards
Professor Carole Shelton-Toney
please don’t forget us…
December 31st, 2009
as a vietnam-era veteran who never got to go overseas, i had my own experiences then ,ptsd come into my own life years later, and now need the assistance and support, have just been told i need a new career ( find re-training yourself) as homeless female vet that so many don’t seem to know what to do with…..so keep in touch w/ those vets..thank-you!! mb heatherly, (once usmc…)
Assisting servicemen returtning from overseas
December 28th, 2009
I myself a veteran have had the opportunity to see what the servicemen had to endure. I currently go to a Va hospital. they will speak about what has happened , only to get the pain and memory of what has happened to them or fellow friends. Listening is askill and some of us do not take the time to listen. Have your heart open to what they are telling you. I would like to help if they need someone to talk too.
You are ready to talk when they are
December 28th, 2009
I think it’s important not too press a returning servicemember to talk about their experiences, but let them know you are available to talk when they are.
Repatriation - Operation Iraqi Freedom
December 28th, 2009
Good Evening,
My name is Julian Wyatt and I am an active duty Naval Officer currently working on my dissertation. The topic is repatriation.
I was deployed to Baghdad, Iraq for 436 days and upon my return discovered that the Navy was ill prepared for repatriation.
While on assignment, I lost 2 colleagues and was awarded the Bronze Star.
Thank you for your service and for all that you continue to do for this country.
Julian Wyatt
Helping
October 27th, 2008
I have seen many vets come back getting alot of support the first year. After that it seem to completley halt. I suggest having college students in masters program go out in the communties visitng VFW, AMVETS, American Legion. Getting in touch by using the service organzations asssitance. If all the colleges were to help thier would be plenty of help. Having someone to listen to thier problems over a longer time frame. Plus the student could achieve real time counsleing under supervision of the college.
Resources for mental health professionals
Resources for servicemembers and their families
- Anticipatory Grief
- Bereavement Counseling
- Deployment Health and Family Readiness Library
- Listen to a discussion of the mental health needs of returning servicemembers
- Military and Veterans: Substance Use and Co-occuring Disorders Among Military and Veterans
- Military One Source
- National Military Family Association
- National Veterans Foundation
- Recovery and the Military: Treating Veterans and Their Families
- Returning from the War Zone: A Guide for Military Personnel
- Seamless Transition
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