Now we want to hear from you!
If you’re a servicemember who has returned to your community after combat duty, what gestures of support were most helpful to you or your family? If you’re a family member, friend, coworker or neighbor, what are your best ideas for helping servicemembers’ re-entry to their home communities be as smooth as possible?
Share your ideas
Your ideas
Resources
Archive for 2008
Helping
October 27th, 2008
I have seen many vets come back getting alot of support the first year. After that it seem to completley halt. I suggest having college students in masters program go out in the communties visitng VFW, AMVETS, American Legion. Getting in touch by using the service organzations asssitance. If all the colleges were to help thier would be plenty of help. Having someone to listen to thier problems over a longer time frame. Plus the student could achieve real time counsleing under supervision of the college.
Master’s Learner MHC in HS
October 27th, 2008
I have a question about how to deal with current service members that return and they & their family need help. The question is how to help them when they are gay or lesbian and are terrified to ask for help due to the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy because they may be dishonorably discharged for discussing their “family issues” with a partner and or children?
How do I handle such a situation? Is there a way that is safe for them without endangering their careers?
I believe that they may not recieve the help they need because of this issue.
Please help
Counseling Military Families
October 27th, 2008
Hello, I have recently had a book entitled “Counseling Military Families” published by Routledge Publishing. It was my attempt to pull together in one place important information for civilian counselors who wish to work with military families. I am hoping it will be of use to a lot of mental health professionals.
INFORMED CONSENT
October 13th, 2008
When a services member discusses a concern or issue in military funded therapy sessions (i.e. family counseling center on base) isn’t it mandatory for therapists to report any concerns that can affect the mission readiness of a unit or service member to their command. I was told this was true. If it is true, this MUST BE A HUGE reason why counseling services are not used as much as they are needed. Kelli
Some suggestions
October 13th, 2008
Hello,
1)one well known symptom of PTSD is the denial of help, particularly the professional one out of fears to show the weakness etc… Sometimes people in such condition don’t even realise they have that issue… Not everyone who has PTSD comes from a war and can keep things under control… Some of them get a flashback and can be even a threat for a society. I think there should be a way when the VA or any other organisation will send professionals in the field to check on the veterans at their homes, will make them come for an OBLIGATORY mental check-up at least twice a year especially in the first couple years by the retired service members
2)Before the retirement there should be done a whole personality picture of the service member who used to be deployed: character features, weak and strong sides to be able to help him to pick up the right job after the military service and integrate into the civilian wold.
3)Soldiers who spent a lot of years in the military system and were deployed -> weer exposed to the stressful situations, were having adrenalin kick in their body again and all over again - > “adrenalin junky” is not just a saying; they miss that adrenalin once they are retired. My boyfriend doesn’t enjoy his job now , he says that he is missing excitement… There should be a way (consider this together with the point 2) to estimate psychologically the type of person to help him to find the appropriate job, hobby, to instruct the significant ones about this…
marriage strengthening?
October 13th, 2008
With a joint reserve base in our community, and the largest army base in the U.S. a few hours away, I eagerly searched the Joining Forces site information on marriage strengthening activities for our returning serve members.
I was surprised that no hits were returned for either “marriage” or “divorce.” This past year the Healthy Marriage- Healthy Families Coalition of Tarrant County conducted a marriage strengthening workshop at the Fort Hood base. We have been told that the divorce rate on base approaches 80%. Clearly this contributes to the stresses of returning service members.
We offer a variety of marriage and relationship strengthening workshops in our community. We are ready to provide free programs specifically for returning service members should there be enough interest.
Can you tell me what efforts Joining Forces America is putting into rebuilding the relationships of our service members, and how we can offer more assistance in this area?
Regards
David Taylor
Program Recruiter
Healthy Marriage- Healthy Families Coalition of Tarrant County
1111 West Abram, Suite C
Arlington, Texas 76013
Office Number (817) 275-7576
Fax (817) 276-9916
dtaylor@theparentingcenter.org
http://www.healthymarriagetc.org
helping helps
October 13th, 2008
I was deployed with the Army and returned. What helps most is real, concrete help - help around the house, yardwork, petsitting, babysitting, trasnportation for folks who have transportation problems. If you ask what is needed, may will say they are OK even if they need something. Empty words may make some feel better, but are all basically fluff.
Next steps for this site
August 22nd, 2008
What is the next step in making this site useful and valuable to potential “helpers”, vets, and folks who could provide training?
Need your ideas.
Can’t let this just sit here.
Will
Structured Decompression
July 28th, 2008
Four years ago I had the opportunity to work with re-deploys in a structured decompression session. The sessions were run through the office of the Chaplain. At the time, my brother-in-law was Chaplain Colonel, and used this research based program to help re-deploys return to their families.
Decompressions were held within the Office of the Chaplains, so that information shared would remain confidential. The decompressions were voluntary, and lasted 2-4 hours each. Each was structured, to give the most possible comfort to the re-deploys.
There were 4 parts - introduction to the decompression techniques (including research overview), discussion from the soldier aobut his assignments, discussion about the soldier’s disappointments, and then discussion about the soldier’s accomplishments. The time ended with further strategies and resources, and specific ideas how to deal with family, friends, and ignorant people.
When my bro-in-law retired, the program did as well. There were many successes - as evidenced by continued contacts with the Chaplains. Family members would also offer success stories - by using strategies taught at a large homecoming celebration.
Retired
July 22nd, 2008
1) Don’t try to understand. Unless it was experienced, it cannot be understood. After a very traumatic and terrifying experience a good friend of mine looked at me and said, “How do we even describe the gravity of the situation to someone?”. All too often you can’t.
2) The experiences are not table talk with family members and often times, not even appropriate for discussion in public. Quite frankly, most of the public cannot handle it. Its not the sawed down edited version that needs to come out. It is the felt and witnessed truth that needs to come out. I never wanted my friends and family to ever know as no human should ever be witness to the horror of death and descruction.
3)If a conversation does began with someone trying to communicate their experiences, simply saying “I am listening” is often times all that is needed. Anything else could shut the conversation down or start an arguement.
4) Be prepared for horrific details and remember silence is Golden. Use judgement if you want to ask a question.
5) Any thanks, praise, hugs (when and where appropriate), “I Love You”, and support in general are always appreciated and helpful as they made me feel I always did the right thing.
Resources for mental health professionals
Resources for servicemembers and their families
- Anticipatory Grief
- Bereavement Counseling
- Deployment Health and Family Readiness Library
- Listen to a discussion of the mental health needs of returning servicemembers
- Military and Veterans: Substance Use and Co-occuring Disorders Among Military and Veterans
- Military One Source
- National Military Family Association
- National Veterans Foundation
- Recovery and the Military: Treating Veterans and Their Families
- Returning from the War Zone: A Guide for Military Personnel
- Seamless Transition
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